Is This a Bad Joke


Diabetes is a group of metabolic diseases in which a person has high blood sugar, either because the body does not produce enough insulin, or because cells do not respond to the insulin that is produced. This high blood sugar produces the classical symptoms of frequent urination, increased thirst and increased hunger as defined by wikipedia.

However, if this disease only set me up to have a bathroom pass everywhere I go with a tall glass of water and a bag of food, it would be a breeze.

Today I am frustrated. Is frustrated the right word? My blood sugars will not go down and when they are slightly close to a goal blood sugar reading, I get hungry…but forget hunger, I want good blood sugars, I want to hang out with friends and not feel anxious of where my blood sugars are, I do not want to be afraid to eat carbohydrates, I want to have focus to read a book and gosh darnit I want to sleep. And I think my fiance does too.

I have been sketching everything down like a mad scientist – what time I am eating, what my blood sugar is, what am I eating, am I stressed, am I hydrated, when did I exercise, should I exercise, should I not exercise (that can sometimes cause blood sugars to go up), do I have ketones, did my food get cross-contaminated with gluten (gluten spikes my blood sugar among other things), how is my insulin pump, is the insulin absorbing right, do I have my insulin pump site in scar tissue…..I could go mad and I might, but…

I choose to carry on. I choose to hold my head high, stay positive, not hold back, look for areas I can improve and accept that diabetes is a disease.

Diabetes is a disease. And when it is out of control I cannot make it my fault.

So this diabetes micro-management is not a bad joke, I cannot walk away from it. I shall make every mischief or challenge an opportunity and reach out to any readers that have diabetes or family/friends of someone who has diabetes and let you know that diabetes will take a ride of its’ own sometimes and you cannot get depressed and think it is your fault.

Stay positive, seek your doctor’s advise as needed and go back to basics when those blood sugars do not want to fall. Test often, drink water always, change insulin injection sites and strive for optimism and not perfection.

“Nature, time and patience are three great physicians.” – H.G. Bohn

Cheers to you and good health.

I still get scared

A year or so ago I went to a wedding shower/bachelorette party and the bride-to-be had the cutest idea. For the party favor she got everyone nail polish. Not just any nail polish but  a brand that has fun and catchy names for each color. The color I got was: Optimistic.

For those that know me well could agree with this statement. And the reason I am recalling this memory is because as I enjoy my adventure in Australia, growing through my 20-somethings, moving into marriage (174 days!!), making new experiences and keeping strong relationships with friends – I learn that no education could prepare us for challenges, real life challenges. The ones when someone close to you has to deal with a new health condition or diagnosis, or a friend starts to consider motherhood and there are deadends where nature is choosing otherwise. I am blessed at this moment that my family is all healthy and well but friends are dealing with some tough things.

It makes me ask, “Why do these challenges happen?” For example, the first thing I think of when considering something that is constant in my life and I wish I could do without is type 1 diabetes. (And my intentions here are not to jump in a soap box – I know my childhood with diabetes has made me the nutrition loving dietitian I am today.)

Yet, I just changed my pump site, which I have to do every 3 days, and I was scared. I have had an insulin pump for nine years now and it’s nothing new. But I was scared. Was the new site (needle) going to hurt, or be a bad spot -where there was scar tissue and I wouldn’t have the best insulin absorption, etc? These thoughts go through my head every time I change my pump. And it’s silly. Most sites turnout fine and if they don’t, it is just a matter of trying it again. And every time I get nervous and can’t keep a steady hand, I tell myself to be brave. Once the task is done, I tell myself I was a “tough cookie” and that this pump is allowing me to be the healthiest I can be.

Now connecting my nerves of changing my insulin pump and living a life with diabetes to tough challenges in life, I can only provide that these things are in my life, in my friend’s lives, etc – because the tough stuff is what makes life real.

We have these “rainy days” so we can appreciate the sunny ones. Don’t you agree?

So in between the fearful, the tough times and the curve balls life throws at us – enjoy what you have and who are with. As cliche as it is – make your glass half full. Even when I am scared, I try my best to always be optimistic.

Among counting my blessings daily, I surely strive to make it a healthy one. Make the most of yours.

Cheers to you and good health!